Sound healer. Parenting coach. HR coach. Landscape designer. And me, a college admissions / life skills coach.
Those were the five clients at my business coach’s home the other night.
On the surface we seemed to be in disparate fields, but after we told our stories, I realized we were all different variations of the same thing – healers and coaches.
The sound healer was obvious and fascinating - he said using different vibrations tuned to the body’s frequencies can bring immediate, deep healing — he knew, because it helped with his own healing journey.
The parenting coach taught a way to connect with children that she did not experience herself growing up.
The landscape gardener did what she did because her clientele - women - deserved beauty.
And I as a college admissions coach am teaching teens skills to create the life they want.
Growing up as a child of immigrants, I was expected to be #1, go to Harvard or MIT, and have the end goal of being able to support myself financially.
I needed to have a “skill” (writing, speaking and owning your own business weren’t considered skills - only engineering, accounting or teaching were.)
Having no skills meant you’d be homeless.
After being denied at Harvard (a huge disappointment at age 18), I attended Stanford.
I thought my immigrant parents were right about what it took to survive in America.
But the older I’ve gotten, the more I realize they were wrong.
Elite colleges are an advantage, but many people do well no matter where they end up.
One of my high school classmate’s brother, Biz Stone, started Twitter. He went to Northeastern (back when Northeastern was ranked roughly #200) and UMass Boston— and dropped out of both (!)
My friend works for the FBI and went to a state university in Florida — her co-worker went to Harvard.
And let’s take our President Joe Biden - went to University of Delaware.
So now I’m teaching my students these truths.
The truth is, my students are qualified for many of the colleges on their list. If they don’t get in, it’s because colleges have “Institutional Priorities” that don’t include accepting a class solely composed of Asian Americans, even if we have the strongest academics. (And spoiler alert, that’s true in the work world as well— replace academics with college pedigree and technical skills.)
My goal is to equip my students to succeed no matter where they end up.
So I teach them life skills, like how to build relationships with their teachers (who they will need letters of recommendation from. They will use these same skills later in the workforce to connect with bosses and co-workers.) I also teach them how to be a leader in any setting. And yes, I help them learn how to achieve — without burnout.
I teach my students skills for their entire life because college is just a blip.
For a long time, I thought these were the skills I as a parent was teaching my own children.
But I’m also realizing these are the Truths I wish someone had taught me growing up.
We all have the power to create our day-to-day realities and happiness.
When you don’t get that college admission, job offer or romantic partner, you will survive.
You can create something better.
What can you do today to make your life a little better than yesterday?
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This post is sponsored BrightStory, a boutique college admissions consulting company owned by Stanford graduate, professional journalist and “coach of admission coaches” Alice Chen, who also created Happy Asian Woman.
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'We all have the power to create our day-to-day realities and happiness.'
A good, wholesome message, Alice.
It’s also how we define success - which is so messed up in this country. I’m fine with financial independence being a goal for a young adult, but beyond that it should be about enjoying what you do (and not being the best or most highly paid) and realizing how important the non-work part of your life is, too. Building a community, especially. We’ve really lost that in our country.