I was in the dentist’s waiting room recently and noticed the reception telly was on the news channel.
“Why on earth do you guys watch the news all day? It’s so depressing!”
“I’m not really sure, we don’t have to” came the response.
By the time I had come out of my appointment they had changed it over to a lovely underwater documentary with turtles swimming and brightly coloured fish. Much more uplifting! 👏👏
I can’t think of anything worse than having to watch the news for your job! 😮
Ps: as you know, I’m working on the WFH problem! 😘
That’s so great! Lately I’ve been listening to relaxing music with nature sounds. I’ve also been to dental offices with huge screen TVs featuring drone footage of exotic, beautiful places. I’m glad you were able to influence your dentist office’s viewing choices! The world is so full of beauty and goodness that we need to remember.
And yes, Im so excited for your idea of bringing people together to avoid working at home alone. Wishing you the best with that endeavor. Community is such an important thing and I’ve always enjoyed my co-working experiences. My local church just opened up their doors to experiment with co-working during the week - I will have to check it out. Love your idea of building community!
Being an overthinker myself, I am well too familiar with rumination. These days I try to be grateful and remind myself that half of the situations I imagine are unreal. Thank you for the post
Absolutely, I need to get better about my gratitude practice. And yes, I would say 99% of my worries do not come true! Thank you for sharing your tools and tips ❤️
I'm happy to share some thoughts and recommendations. First off, subscribe to NiceNews.com. As they say, "News, but only the good stuff."
Here's a lesson about how our brains work. We are biologically driven to pay attention and notice all that is wrong, out of order, potentially dangerous and perilous. Everybody worries because everybody's brain is biologically programmed to notice what is wrong and bad for the sake of our survival. When you awake in the morning you immediately notice what is wrong, or potentially not good. If you feel good, happy, well rested, you don't even notice that (unless you've been having trouble sleeping for a while.) We all have to go out of our way, to intentionally notice what is good, pleasing, happy, matching what we want with what we're getting. For instance, when you drive from point A to point B do you notice how many other cooperative, safe and pleasant drivers are on the road with you? Probably not, but you didn't miss the one reckless, careless and dangerous driver. Even though there was only 1 scary driver and perhaps 20 others who were safe and careful like you, your brain didn't focus on them. You have to purposefully, intentionally, and consciously choose to find all that is good, right, pleasing and right in your world. Cultivating this habit is what I call GROWING GOOD MENTAL HEALTH. It's what I write about in my Substack. You're welcome to come read my work, Growing Good Mental & Family Health, by Dr. Nancy B.
Thanks for your work. I always find it thoughtful and thought provoking.
I just subscribed to your Substack. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a lengthy, thoughtful comment on my newsletter! You’re absolutely right, and I will practice noticing more goodness in my life. In fact, I appreciate writing about happiness because it forces my brain to think about what I can do to improve my mental health. I can’t wait to learn more about your work, thank you again for sharing!
The best we can do is to stop ourselves in the moment of catastrophizing.
I also subscribe to goodnewsnetwork[dot]org and have for years. It's the only news that is delivered to my inbox. Like you, I know about the rest, so it's important to me to 'balance' the scales, so to speak.
Worrying is natural and it's a TOUGH habit to break. I used to be worse, but I think getting older and wiser--aka realizing many of my worries were for naught--as well as practicing meditation and mindfulness has helped a lot.
Have you tried listening to music? Sometimes that can be particularly helpful to break the cycle of thoughts.
I will look into the good news network, thank you for the rec! And mindfulness and meditation... I find that yoga is so hopeful, as well as gardening and art. And yes, I love music. Is there anything you listen to in particular that helps? I like relaxing music with nature sounds, as well as empowered female pop stars 😅
Before Covid, I was lucky enough to discover https://www.youtube.com/@NatureHealingSociety so what I like to do is listen to it while I journal and write and go about my morning routine. Sometimes I look at the images because they are so beautiful, but mostly it’s nice to have sth soothing in the background.
Years ago I realized that watching the nightly news was upsetting me right before bedtime. Now, I watch an earlier broadcast, if at all. The 24 hour news cycles are very damaging. They are always showing huge graphics of "Breaking News" or "Alerts" and most of it is far from something you need to know immediately. You have to get in and get out and not spend too much time reading or watching.
Yes agreed- I had to block CNN, The NY Times and other news sites from my phone because I got so stressed about what could go wrong in every day life. My therapist helped me to see in my own personal life things are pretty ok... safe enough as she puts it. Safe enough.
Safe enough is a good term to remember. Sometimes I worry that I don't know what's going on locally. I try to watch a half an hour on Sunday morning. I've noticed they keep it pretty matter of fact on Sundays.
Yes, I hear you... I try to read various local community websites (like my town’s Facebook group). I figure anything big will make it to my ears anyways.
And That’s great that Sunday TV news is better... as someone who’s worked in news I know it’s easier to cover the police beat than talk about local “heroes” (which would be a great beat!) I’m glad you found a way to balance news intake with mental health!
I relate. A few years ago, I became depressed after ruminating day in and day out on climate change-related disaster and family I was concerned about. The way out was to process emotional pain and stop ruminating. Now I just stop myself from thinking about things I can’t control whenever I catch myself dwelling on them for any length of time. It took real effort at first. I also relate to being extroverted and wanting to do work near other people. Lately I’ve been wishing more American cities were designed like old European cities in which there are big plazas where young and old people alike meet up.
Oh my goodness climate change is so scary. And I understand family drama - I’ve definitely had many therapy sessions focused on that topic. I’m sorry you got depressed- that is so difficult. I’ve had many loved ones who have been depressed. ❤️
And I’m glad you found healing. How were you able to process the emotional pain and stop ruminating? That’s something I’m always trying to figure out, as I feel stuck at times 🥴
And agreed about the isolation of America. I was watching a K Drama recently that had an idyllic depiction of a village in North Korea. The women came together every day to prepare their food, wash clothes in the river, etc. I think we need that type of community here!!
What a sweet response! Thank you, Alice! After listening to a few podcast episodes from therapist Nicole Sachs (“the Cure for Chronic Pain”), I read her book, “The Meaning of Truth” and followed the advice to “journalspeak” every day for as long as it took for me to become happy again. Journalspeaking is specifically about saying the darkest things in your heart—it’s not just “Today I felt sad.” So, as you do it, you tend to cry a lot. Which is the key to healing. You have to feel and express the pain vs intellectualizing it. And basically this means crying. I called in to Zac Rosen’s podcast, The Best Advice Show. It’s a 4-minute ep called “Everybody should cry with Courtney Daniels.” Journalspeaking and crying a ton and seeing therapist Lisa Chen on Zoom for about 6 months got me out of depression. But for anyone who can’t afford a therapist, the first two things will absolutely get them to happiness!
Aww, thank you for sharing, Courtney! That is wonderful how you found healing. I’m taking a picture of your response for future reference so I can look up the podcasts, etc. it sounds scary to say the darkest things on my heart but I’m already thinking it so might as well speak it. That is great that you can cry. I always think I can’t cry but somehow I always cry when I talk to my new therapist. It’s the whole “grief must be witnessed” thing for me, I guess... I will look for the books and find the podcasts. Thank you again for sharing your heart ❤️
'...worry is normal and a result of our broken world was very helpful.'
Yeah, it's somewhat comforting that it's natural for us to feel this way. Now what's important is for us to not get too caught up with such worrying feelings.
I was in the dentist’s waiting room recently and noticed the reception telly was on the news channel.
“Why on earth do you guys watch the news all day? It’s so depressing!”
“I’m not really sure, we don’t have to” came the response.
By the time I had come out of my appointment they had changed it over to a lovely underwater documentary with turtles swimming and brightly coloured fish. Much more uplifting! 👏👏
I can’t think of anything worse than having to watch the news for your job! 😮
Ps: as you know, I’m working on the WFH problem! 😘
That’s so great! Lately I’ve been listening to relaxing music with nature sounds. I’ve also been to dental offices with huge screen TVs featuring drone footage of exotic, beautiful places. I’m glad you were able to influence your dentist office’s viewing choices! The world is so full of beauty and goodness that we need to remember.
And yes, Im so excited for your idea of bringing people together to avoid working at home alone. Wishing you the best with that endeavor. Community is such an important thing and I’ve always enjoyed my co-working experiences. My local church just opened up their doors to experiment with co-working during the week - I will have to check it out. Love your idea of building community!
Being an overthinker myself, I am well too familiar with rumination. These days I try to be grateful and remind myself that half of the situations I imagine are unreal. Thank you for the post
Absolutely, I need to get better about my gratitude practice. And yes, I would say 99% of my worries do not come true! Thank you for sharing your tools and tips ❤️
I'm happy to share some thoughts and recommendations. First off, subscribe to NiceNews.com. As they say, "News, but only the good stuff."
Here's a lesson about how our brains work. We are biologically driven to pay attention and notice all that is wrong, out of order, potentially dangerous and perilous. Everybody worries because everybody's brain is biologically programmed to notice what is wrong and bad for the sake of our survival. When you awake in the morning you immediately notice what is wrong, or potentially not good. If you feel good, happy, well rested, you don't even notice that (unless you've been having trouble sleeping for a while.) We all have to go out of our way, to intentionally notice what is good, pleasing, happy, matching what we want with what we're getting. For instance, when you drive from point A to point B do you notice how many other cooperative, safe and pleasant drivers are on the road with you? Probably not, but you didn't miss the one reckless, careless and dangerous driver. Even though there was only 1 scary driver and perhaps 20 others who were safe and careful like you, your brain didn't focus on them. You have to purposefully, intentionally, and consciously choose to find all that is good, right, pleasing and right in your world. Cultivating this habit is what I call GROWING GOOD MENTAL HEALTH. It's what I write about in my Substack. You're welcome to come read my work, Growing Good Mental & Family Health, by Dr. Nancy B.
Thanks for your work. I always find it thoughtful and thought provoking.
Cheers, Nancy
Also, I can’t wait to read your book. Thank you again for sharing all these wonderful resources!
I just subscribed to your Substack. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a lengthy, thoughtful comment on my newsletter! You’re absolutely right, and I will practice noticing more goodness in my life. In fact, I appreciate writing about happiness because it forces my brain to think about what I can do to improve my mental health. I can’t wait to learn more about your work, thank you again for sharing!
The best we can do is to stop ourselves in the moment of catastrophizing.
I also subscribe to goodnewsnetwork[dot]org and have for years. It's the only news that is delivered to my inbox. Like you, I know about the rest, so it's important to me to 'balance' the scales, so to speak.
Worrying is natural and it's a TOUGH habit to break. I used to be worse, but I think getting older and wiser--aka realizing many of my worries were for naught--as well as practicing meditation and mindfulness has helped a lot.
Have you tried listening to music? Sometimes that can be particularly helpful to break the cycle of thoughts.
I will look into the good news network, thank you for the rec! And mindfulness and meditation... I find that yoga is so hopeful, as well as gardening and art. And yes, I love music. Is there anything you listen to in particular that helps? I like relaxing music with nature sounds, as well as empowered female pop stars 😅
Before Covid, I was lucky enough to discover https://www.youtube.com/@NatureHealingSociety so what I like to do is listen to it while I journal and write and go about my morning routine. Sometimes I look at the images because they are so beautiful, but mostly it’s nice to have sth soothing in the background.
So awesome! Checking it out right now… Thank you for the recommendation!
Years ago I realized that watching the nightly news was upsetting me right before bedtime. Now, I watch an earlier broadcast, if at all. The 24 hour news cycles are very damaging. They are always showing huge graphics of "Breaking News" or "Alerts" and most of it is far from something you need to know immediately. You have to get in and get out and not spend too much time reading or watching.
Yes agreed- I had to block CNN, The NY Times and other news sites from my phone because I got so stressed about what could go wrong in every day life. My therapist helped me to see in my own personal life things are pretty ok... safe enough as she puts it. Safe enough.
Safe enough is a good term to remember. Sometimes I worry that I don't know what's going on locally. I try to watch a half an hour on Sunday morning. I've noticed they keep it pretty matter of fact on Sundays.
Yes, I hear you... I try to read various local community websites (like my town’s Facebook group). I figure anything big will make it to my ears anyways.
And That’s great that Sunday TV news is better... as someone who’s worked in news I know it’s easier to cover the police beat than talk about local “heroes” (which would be a great beat!) I’m glad you found a way to balance news intake with mental health!
I relate. A few years ago, I became depressed after ruminating day in and day out on climate change-related disaster and family I was concerned about. The way out was to process emotional pain and stop ruminating. Now I just stop myself from thinking about things I can’t control whenever I catch myself dwelling on them for any length of time. It took real effort at first. I also relate to being extroverted and wanting to do work near other people. Lately I’ve been wishing more American cities were designed like old European cities in which there are big plazas where young and old people alike meet up.
Oh my goodness climate change is so scary. And I understand family drama - I’ve definitely had many therapy sessions focused on that topic. I’m sorry you got depressed- that is so difficult. I’ve had many loved ones who have been depressed. ❤️
And I’m glad you found healing. How were you able to process the emotional pain and stop ruminating? That’s something I’m always trying to figure out, as I feel stuck at times 🥴
And agreed about the isolation of America. I was watching a K Drama recently that had an idyllic depiction of a village in North Korea. The women came together every day to prepare their food, wash clothes in the river, etc. I think we need that type of community here!!
What a sweet response! Thank you, Alice! After listening to a few podcast episodes from therapist Nicole Sachs (“the Cure for Chronic Pain”), I read her book, “The Meaning of Truth” and followed the advice to “journalspeak” every day for as long as it took for me to become happy again. Journalspeaking is specifically about saying the darkest things in your heart—it’s not just “Today I felt sad.” So, as you do it, you tend to cry a lot. Which is the key to healing. You have to feel and express the pain vs intellectualizing it. And basically this means crying. I called in to Zac Rosen’s podcast, The Best Advice Show. It’s a 4-minute ep called “Everybody should cry with Courtney Daniels.” Journalspeaking and crying a ton and seeing therapist Lisa Chen on Zoom for about 6 months got me out of depression. But for anyone who can’t afford a therapist, the first two things will absolutely get them to happiness!
And... I’m so glad you were able to come out of your depression! That is so wonderful!
Aww, thank you for sharing, Courtney! That is wonderful how you found healing. I’m taking a picture of your response for future reference so I can look up the podcasts, etc. it sounds scary to say the darkest things on my heart but I’m already thinking it so might as well speak it. That is great that you can cry. I always think I can’t cry but somehow I always cry when I talk to my new therapist. It’s the whole “grief must be witnessed” thing for me, I guess... I will look for the books and find the podcasts. Thank you again for sharing your heart ❤️
Very kind of you! I’m thinking great thoughts for you!
'...worry is normal and a result of our broken world was very helpful.'
Yeah, it's somewhat comforting that it's natural for us to feel this way. Now what's important is for us to not get too caught up with such worrying feelings.
Absolutely. Must break the cycle! Distraction is an effective tool for me 😆
I love your insights, Alice, including ruminations on ruminating!
Absolutely! I have too much time on my hands 😅