The Origins of My Ruminating Habit

To Dismantle It, Do the Opposite

Photo by Mimi Thian on Unsplash

In a recent conversation with my new therapist, she seemed surprised when I told her I did not grow up a worrier.

In fact, I can pinpoint when I started my ruminating habit.

One of the biggest changes of my life was starting to work from home after I got married. I had just quit my job at as a staff reporter at a large daily newspaper, and moved to Chicago to be with my husband for his temporary job.

Since I knew we’d move again shortly thereafter for a permanent position, I decided not to accept a full time job but instead, try freelancing.

And so I did, writing for newspapers, magazines and large companies.

After moving to the SF Bay Area, I continued to freelance and eventually started my own college admissions company, where I work from my home office.

I love my work but the biggest challenge is working from home.

As an extrovert, I thrive on human relationships and conversations.

When I work from home alone, I have too much time with my thoughts.

In talking to my therapist, I know I need to keep getting out into the world as much as possible, having adventures and interacting with a wide variety of people.

I should probably work at cafes, libraries, with friends, and maybe rent a co-working space at some point.

—

The other huge thing that has contributed to my ruminating habit is the Internet.

When I was getting my master’s degree in journalism, our instructors drilled into us that we had to read the newspaper every single day to get a sense of what was going on.

And so I spent many, many years reading the news online.

Unfortunately, as you know, news is mostly negative and it ultimately gave me too much information.

I know all about microplastics, harmful chemicals in beauty supplies, what toxins go into wildfire smoke, and the like.

Too much information causes me to think of all the scenarios (typically negative) that could result from my situation.

My solution which I implemented during Covid was to stop reading the news.

I still see information on social media (trying to cut back on that as well) and I know I need to fill my brain with more hopeful, positive information.

—

In reflecting on the factors that contribute to my ruminating habit, I am working on breaking it. Hearing my therapist say that worry is normal and a result of our broken world was very helpful.

I struggle with ruminating and it’s okay.

Everyone does it.

I read somewhere that when the human brain is at rest, it’s normal to default to problem solving mode.

I can stimulate my brain more, and move on.

Do you struggle with worry and if so, what contributes to it? What have you done to break your ruminating habit?

Know someone who could use this post? Like, Share or Restack

This post is sponsored BrightStory, a boutique college admissions consulting company owned by Stanford graduate, professional journalist and “coach of admission coaches” Alice Chen, who also created Happy Asian Woman.